Ryoga: Lost in where the heck am I NOW!
by Wilfite
Summary: A Ryoga origin story. Mostly canon, but with a little more intelligence and some science. Oh yea, and econazis. Can't forget the econazis. Will probably run to 7 or 8 chapters when complete.
1. Stranger in a Strange Land

_(Disclaimer: I don't own Ryoga. I wouldn't really want to. Someone else does, I'm just borrowing him. Don't worry, I'll put him back when I'm done and make sure he's all cleaned up and the gas tank is full)_

Ryoga: Lost in...Where the heck am I NOW???!!  
Chapter One: Stranger in a strange land

It was a nice day. The sun was shining, birds were singing, a soft breeze was blowing across the meadow. Yes, it was a nice day. Rob was on security detail. He liked security detail. Around here, there was hardly ever any disturbances, so it meant he could take his time strolling the borders of the ranch, sitting high atop his saddle-beast, and just enjoy nature. Yup, security detail was all-right with him.

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Crash! Another tree exploded at the tip of Ryoga's finger as he ran through the unfamiliar forest. He'd been running all-out for the last 3 hours, in a running battle against a huge pack of unusually large and aggressive wolves. He didn't know how many, exactly, but he'd guess it was about 50 animals when this all started. He'd been strolling down the streets of Nerima, happily daydreaming about Akane when he'd took a left turn to the Tendo dojo and...found himself in an unfamiliar forest. Lost AGAIN!

"Just where the heck am I now???!!" he yelled out in frustration.

Not far in front of him, he saw several very big wolves stand up, where they'd been hidden behind some tall grass. He'd disturbed their dinner it seems, and they didnt look very happy.

"uh...oops?"

Ryoga could hear them growling and then they started for him. He grinned, exposing his own oversized canines, and met their attack head on. The first went down to a chi-bandanna, the second to a roundhouse kick and third to a solid thump from his lead-infused bamboo combat umbrella. He had just started walking, intent on leaving them behind and finding his way back to Nerima, when he heard several low growls behind him.

Turning around, Ryoga could tell he was outclassed. He could see two or three wolves slowly slinking toward him, but could see the eyes of maybe 15 more in the woods surrounding him. He recognized that with those odds, which appeared to be getting worse as time went by, he'd be in a bad way soon. Deciding to pick his own battleground, Ryoga burst two trees with his Bakusai Tenketsu technique to slow the wolves down and began to run. He'd been running ever since. The wolves were keeping up with him, so whenever he saw an opening, he'd throw a bandanna to take them out from a distance. Those that came too close would get bashed by an umbrella, and whenever he could catch a few in a bunch, he'd launch a Shi shi hokodan, which were getting more powerful as the minutes went by and he got more tired and upset. Across the forest, heads popped up momentarily as a voice could be heard crying "RANMA!!! THIS HAS TO BE YOUR FAULT!!" If he could just whittle them down some more, he could stop and make a stand, but there were still too many! Ryoga turned around, releasing another wave of depression.

"Shi shi Hokodan!"

A small bunch of 5 wolves detonated with Chi energy, leaving behind a small crater. Ryoga turned to run again and tripped, his legs shaking with the effort of running and fighting. He didn't know how much more he could take. Suddenly, he came up against the face of a small cliff. Bursting with hope, he backed up and took a running leap for the top. His first jump fell short! Quickly backing up, he tried again. With all his might he ran for the cliff, but at the last second his right leg buckled under him, weakened from the constant abuse. Out of time, he turned around. With his back to the wall, he prepared to fight for his life.

"Oh, Akane," he wailed out loud, "will I ever see you again?"

Out of the woods surrounding him, he could see the now-reduced but still formidable pack of wolves, numbering in the twenties, approaching him. He could hear howling in the background, telling him there were still some out there he couldn't see. He knew that if he let them in close, he was done for. Not wanting to hinder his own movement, he took his pack off and leaned his combat umbrella against his pack, then pulled four chi-bandannas from his head, two for each hand. Suddenly the wolves attacked! A group of five ran at him from the front and four more circled in from the sides. Ryoga threw the four bandannas at the ones circling in and launched another Shi shi hokodan at those coming at him head on. The chi-bandannas struck the four circling wolves like shuriken, cutting into their heads and throats, while the ball of depressed spirit-energy detonated among the five frontal attackers, scattering them in all directions and leaving a small crater behind.

Ryoga hung his head, panting at the exertion. He'd fought Ranma many times, and his endurance was the stuff of legend, but he'd been using up Chi constantly for some time now, and it was only a matter of time before it began to affect his performance. That was the fifth Shi shi hokodan in the past half hour and he couldn't even remember how many chi-bandanna's he'd thrown. He'd have to take it easy a little to preserve what reserves he had left.

Looking out, he could see the wolves hadn't given up. His easy defeat of the first wave had given them pause, but he could see movement in the trees they'd backed up into. With a snarl, a wolf sprang at him from the left. He jumped into a forward kick, deflecting the wolf at the last minute, then followed up with spin kick that launched the wolf back the way it came. Another wolf jumped him from behind, claws digging for purchase in the flesh of his shoulders. Ryoga could feel the warm fetid breath of the wolf as it came in for the kill. Kicking backwards into a free-fall, Ryoga jammed an elbow up into the wolf's chest as they landed on the ground. With a yelp, the wolf rolled out of his way and sprang to its feet, snapping at Ryoga's hamstrings. This time, Ryoga's foot met the wolf coming in and he could hear the sickly crunch of the wolf's neck breaking as his forward snap kick impacted the overly large animal. Ryoga could sense that the wolves were backing away, unsure if they should attack again after the losses their pack had taken. This was unusually difficult prey. Taking advantage of their momentary confusion, Ryoga grabbed his umbrella and ran for the trees. He could come back for his pack some other time.

Ryoga looked worriedly through the trees into the cloudy sky.

"Oh, kami, please don't let it rain. There's no way I'll get out of this if I turn into a pig!"

He was a hundred meters ahead by the time the wolves got into solid pursuit, but his weakened state and the wolves' four legs quickly devoured the intervening space. He was once again in a running battle. It became a cycle of exploding trees, thrown bandannas and, when one got too close, swung combat umbrellas. Ryoga WAS winning, having killed or disabled more than 2/3 of the pack, but time wasn't on his side. He was slowing, and he knew it. He could feel himself weakening with every step, a state he had not experienced since the Baksai Tenketsu training under Cologne. His vision was no longer clear-things began to look blurry around the edges. Not far ahead, he could see a clearing of some kind. In a last desperate attempt, Ryoga slowed down and turned, allowing the wolves to bunch up.

"Oh Akane," cried Ryoga, "what a cruel world! Here I'm going to die, leaving you to..to..Ranma! I'm sorry. Oh, to be held in your..arms..but once more..." The world seemed to slow down for Ryoga as he thought of how sad and miserable Akane would be with him gone, without her P-chan and how she'd be left to Ranma with no one to protect her and...and...

"Ranma?! I can't let you have Akane!"

With one last gasp of effort, Ryoga put everything he had into a Shi shi Hokodan of immense proportions. The resulting blast threw him through three trees and out into the clearing. He felt something sharp hit him in the back of the head, and the last thing he saw as he blacked out was some kind of...scaly...foot?...a HUGE, scaly...foot?

_Author's Note: This is my first Ranma fanfic, and I'm not the most devoted fan, so I apologize if things at times may seem a little strange compared to what you're probably used to. As far as Ryoga's personality and intelligence, I give him more credit than most. Think about it. If he's constantly getting lost, finding himself a stranger in strange places, not only does he have to be tough, he's got to be reasonably smart to handle the strange situation's he be getting into as a result. Not that I don't think he's an immature, emotionally repressed teenager, I mean, that's a given..._

_Reviews and feedbacks are welcome._

_Thanks go to Musichowler for the pre-reads. Great suggestions!_

_-Wilfi_


	2. Cowboy Rob and the Asiatic Kid

(Disclaimer: Ryoga's not mine, Rob and company are. If you don't like it, you're entitled to your opinion. Don't sue me, it'd only net you, like, 10 bucks.)

Ryoga: Lost in...Where the heck am I NOW!  
Chapter two: Cowboy Rob and the Asiatic kid.

It really was a nice day, Rob thought. It was a warm september, with a slight breeze blowing. Here in the mountains of Southern Idaho, Septembers were usually cold, but here he was riding in a tee-shirt and jeans. It just didn't get much better than this. Rob was on security patrol at his dad's ranch. "Huh, security patrol," Rob reflected. "Didn't think I'd have to do this AFTER I got outa the service. No thanks to the damned greenies." Rob's smile took on a grim turn for a moment.

They didn't used to have to patrol like this, after all, they were way back in the bitterroots in the middle of nowhere. About ten years ago, the greenies had started messing with the DNA of various wildlife to better allow it to "protect" itself against the "predation" of man. Ever since, they'd had to mount a fairly regular security patrol. Some of the changes the greenies had made weren't all that dangerous, in fact, in an irony he'd always found amusing, one of the first creatures they'd "protected" was a large variety of lizard, which had since grown larger and more docile, and had become the preferred mount for people out in the wilds, both for the creatures' stamina and ability to defend itself. Unfortunately, other changes weren't so useful...or docile. They had to mount a security patrol daily against what used to be the grey wolf, but now had become something much more dangerous. If an attack wasn't caught early on, the losses due to killed stock were devestating, not to mention the threat to human life if the damned wolves ever got close enough to attack the big house. A small pack of wolves might kill five or ten animals in half an hour. He shuddered to think of them getting into the barn or bunkhouse.

Rob closed his eyes, breathing in the warm scent of late-season wildflowers and vegetation. Suddenly, just ahead there was some kind of explosion, blowing a hole twenty-five feet across at the edge of the forest! Rob swung his mount to face the woods and swung his H&K to bear, just as something flew out of the forest, striking the "hoof" of his saddle-beast. Risking a glance down, he could see it was some kind of person-and they weren't moving. Glancing back into the trees, he could make out several obviously dead wolves, shredded by flying shrapnel and the force of the explosion. A few other wolves were retreating back into the forest. Satisfied that the wolves weren't a threat, at least for the time being, Rob quickly swung down from his saddle, dropping the reigns to his beast and approached the unconscious young man. He looked to be in his middle-to-late teens, dark hair, probably of Japanese descent. He could see the remains of a yellow shirt and dark pants, as well as a yellow and black spotted headband. One foot was bare, the other had some kind of slip-on shoe hanging halfway off. The kid's mouth hung open, exposing some unusually long canines. Beyond that little detail, he looked like a normal, every day teenager, except they didn't usually see Asiatics out here in the high country.

Taking all of this in only took a second or two. Rob kneeled down to check the kid's vital signs. He could tell the kid was alive, but that was about it. He was very pale, his heart was fluttering randomly and his breathing was extremely shallow. Rob could see blood stains on his shoulders and legs from multiple cuts and scratches, as well as a large section of wood shrapnel across his chest and stomach from the explosion. It only took a moment to realize his first aid kit wasn't going to be much help.

Rob jumped back up and grabbed his radio from his saddle.

"Sec-1 to Big House, Sec-1 to Big House...do you copy," said Rob.

"Sec-1, this is Bill, go ahead."

"Bill, Sec-1. I've got a wounded boy out here that needs med-evac immediately. Vitals are poor. I don't know who he is. There's been some kind of explosion in the forest at my position. Wolves in evidence. Better send out the boys."

"Copy that, Sec-1. The boys are heading out to the jeeps now and I'll call the Sherrif to get a chopper to your position. Keep us posted, Big House out."

Now that he knew help was coming, Rob turned his attention to doing whatever he could for the boy. Pulling out his med-kit, he began to treat the more serious wounds, packing and binding those that were spilling the most blood. All the time, he kept a hand close to his H&K and an eye on the woods. The wolves had been retreating, but they could be back any second. He was real curious about the source of the explosion. As soon as he got the kid fixed up as well as he could, he'd head over and investigate the crater. He sensed some movement behind him, and his saddle-beast's head and long neck moved up next to him, sniffing at the wounded boy, they shying from the blood smell.

"Well kid," he spoke to the unconscious boy, "I don't know what you were doing out here, but it's lucky I was around. You'd be dead in no more'n an hour."

Very soon, Rob was out of gauze and wrappings. All he could do was make sure the kid was comfortable. He got up, holding his H&K at ready, and headed into the woods to check out the explosion site. Looking carefully around for wolves, he picked his way through the detritus of the explosion and to ground zero. He could see bits and pieces of wolf carcusses hanging in the surrounding trees and on the ground, but nothing to indicate the source of the explosion. He'd served in Iraq and Somalia during his service days, so he was no rookie to this kind of damage. It looked just like some of the IED scenes in Iraq, but he could tell the crater was the result of an air-born explosion, not that of an underground mine. Looking around, he couldn't find any kind of grenade launcher, and the kid didn't have any kind of modern weapons on him-in fact, he didn't find any weapons at all.

"Wait a sec-what's this?" Rob muttered to himself. Caught in the brush nearby was something long and red. As he got close, he recognized it was some kind of oriental...umbrella?

"What in tarnation? Where'd this kid come from, anyway?"

It looked like a paper umbrella, though it didn't appear to be damaged much beyond a few tears. Rob reached down to pick it up and was VERY surprised when he went to swing the thing up. It threw off his balance so much he actually tripped and fell! This thing had to weigh like 40 pounds! Rob got back up on his feet and dusted off his hands, lifting up the incredibly heavy "umbrella."

"Hmm," Rob spoke to himself, "This is really heavy, could it be some kind of camoflaged weapon?" He investigated it, but couldn't find any sort of barrel opening or facility to launch grenades. It was definitely a mystery. The only thing he did know was, this had to belong to the kid. He swung it up to his shoulder in one hand, his H&K in the other, and backed slowly from the forest, his senses keen for danger. He could hear the dull sound of rotors in the background, echoing up the valley, so he hurried back to his mount and the wounded boy's location to guide the chopper in.

The downdraft from the life-flight chopper's landing blew his cowboy hat off his head, now hanging from its chin-strap on his back. Rob's mount shied from the noise and the wind, but soon the rotors spun down and two med-techs ran out from the chopper. While they prepared the boy for movement, treating some of his other wounds and placing him on a backboard, Rob could see the boys driving out in two jeeps, multiple rifle barrels in evidence.

The boys' jeeps arrived, and the boys all piled out, taking up positions to defend from a wolf attack. The damned things had been known to attack parties twice their size if they took a notion to. Rob walked over to meet his Dad, Randy Cottern, just getting out of one of the Jeeps.

"Hey dad, thanks for coming out. I don't think we'll see much action, but better safe than dead, like ma always says."

"No problem, son. What happened out here?

"Well, sir, I was ridin' the normal trail when there was this big explosion. The kid come flying out'a the woods and hit his head on Roofy's front hoof, knocking him out. I fixed him up as well as I could till the medics arrived. I checked out the explosion site, no evidence of any kind of weaponry, just this heavy-as-all-getout umbrella the kid musta been carryin'. I don't know, dad, it don't make any sense."

"Well, son, you're the infantryman, I'll take your word for it. How many wolves did you see?"

"Only a few; they were fleeing the explosion back into the woods. Looks like the explosion must'a taken out five or six, besides. I don't know how, but this kid must'a been fighting the wolves. He had 'em on the run after that explosion. I think we're gonna have to just wait for him to wake up and ask him ourselves."

"All right. I'll have Curly finish your route, why don't you give Roofy to him and climb into the jeep. We'll head back to the house while the boys make sure the chopper gets outa here all right."

"Yes sir." Rob turned to locate 'Curly,' one of the long-time hired hands. Curly was a tall, lanky fella with curly blond hair, a handlebar mustache and a wry grin. He followed Rob's gesture towards the saddle-beast and the trail and nodded. Picking up the reigns, Curly hopped into the saddle then rode off after slipping his rifle into the sling. Rob headed for his dad's Jeep as the doors of the chopper closed behind the stretcher and the chopper's blades began to whirl.

_Author's Note: Here's chapter two, sorry for the long wait._


	3. Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch

_Disclaimer: Oh, come on, I've written it twice already..._

Chapter 3: Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch…

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"Great Kami, Tendo! Look at that carp riding a flying pig!"

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Yep, it was a normal saturday at the Tendo home. Birds were chirping, the carp were carping (or whatever it is that carp do), Saotome Genma was cheating, the sun was shining. Just everyday, run of the mill happenings. Ranma was sitting on the porch thinking, Kasumi was whistling in the kitchen while creating some sort of culinary masterpiece in pastry that was sure to disappear in a short time due to a certain martial artist's father. Nabiki was upstairs counting her money and Akane-well, Akane was stricken.

"P-chaaaaaan! Peee-chaaaan! Where are you?" Akane was running around the place looking for her pet. She'd looked everywhere, it seems. Upstairs, downstairs, the garden, the toolshed (and why DID Ranma suggest the toolshed anyway?), the dojo, the-WAIT A MINUTE! Akane went over to the porch where Ranma was quietly munching a cookie and pondering a kata he'd been working on.

"Oh, Ranma," said Akane in that tight, quiet, sweet as sugar-mixed-with-arsenic way, "I haven't been able to find P-chan anywhere. Where did you say you saw him last again?" she asked.

Ranma didn't even look up.

"I told ya already. Look in the toolshed."

"BAKA!!" Akane wound back and let fly a wild punch, knocking Ranma over and putting his head through the door behind him.

"Ow! Whadja do that for, ya uncute tomboy!?"

"What did you do with P-chan!? I know you did something with him, you had to of. He wouldn't be able to open the toolshed all by himself! YOU must have put him there then! I know how much you hate him! He's NOT there and I can't find him anywhere else. What. Did. You. Do. With. Him.?!" Akane's face was flush with anger and a more observant individual would have seen her hands clenching and un-clenching in a familiar mallet-shaped grip.

Ranma had by now extricated himself from the wall and was rubbing his head. "Feh, what makes you think I did something with him? Last I saw, he was wandering around near the toolshed. Hehe, by now he could be anywhere. Tokyo, Fuji, South Africa. What the heck? I don't have to do anything to help him get lost, he does a good enough job himself!"

Akane's eyes shown with an ugly glint as lowered her voice even more. "We're not talking about Ryoga here, Ranma. We're talking about P-chan, my pet pig, who sleeps with me and keeps me company and listens to all my deepest darkest secrets…" Ranma's eyes got bigger as he fought the choking, incredulous sound that was trying desperately to get loose. "..and Ranma, if you don't tell me what you did with him, you WILL regret it…" finished Akane.

Take a moment with me, if you will, and observe the situation. We have exhibit A, a young, hormonal teenager driven to perfection with an extremely developed sense of honor. We have axhibit B, a young, tempestuous teenage girl, filled with righteous anger for the sins of her nominal fiancée. AND…we have exhibit C, an extremely large, extremely fast, extremely heavy mallet du-jour being produced out of thin-air.

Yup, just another normal, average Saturday at the Tendo home.

"Hey, wait a minute, Akane, I really didn't have anything to do-"

"RANMA NO BAKA!!" Akane swung for the fences, driving Ranma through the front door, up the stairs, through the open window at the top of the stairs and into the sky. Nothin' but net. Ranma had several minutes to ponder the meaning of life and how it all comes together to blame him in the end everytime before he landed face first into the hot water of the public bath…on the women's side.

"Pervert!"

"Freak"

Passing pedestrians were surprised when a group of towel-wrapped girls chased a sopping, red-shirted young man out of the public bath, beating him over the head with buckets, towels and other implements of mayhem that may be found within the referenced location. A short, extremely old man could be heard cackling "That's my boy!" as he ran by, chased by his own gaggle of irate Japanese women waving fists at him and picking up the occasional bra or panty that might fall from the bag over his shoulder.

"Man," grimaced Ranma while trying to wring out his-wait, now that the water's cooled off (grrr…)-her clothes the best she could. "Why do I always get blamed when Ryoga decides to hare off on another stupid wrong turn? How am I supposed to know where he is? I wish I could just tell her and be done with it!" Ranma shivered slightly while he thought of Ryoga sleeping in Akane's room night after night. He'd tried to warn her in every way he honorably could- he dropped hints, ran P-chan out of the house, remarked on the similarity of both their bandannas (and the fact you can't buy a bandanna like that anywhere but an obscure clothing shop in Bismark, North Dakota-and they don't do mail order...), called Ryoga pig-boy, etc. It just didn't seem to make any difference! No one could be THAT unobservant, could they?

"Huh, now that I think of it, it is kinda weird, though," said Ranma to himself. "I was up on the roof, saw Ryoga come in the side gate whistling his going-to-see-Akane song (and how on earth Ryoga had ever associated "off to see the wizard" with Akane was beyond him) and walk right into the shed calling for Akane. I laughed at the time and called him an idiot but, come to think of it, he didn't come back out...that's weird. Pig-boy usually has some sort of a comeback. I was kinda hoping for a fight, since it woulda been nice to get a good workout. I think I'd better check out that toolshed when I get home. Stupid, uncute, built like a brick tomboy! Why can't she ever just give me a chance?"

* * *

"Well doc, whaddaya think?"

Rob and his dad, Randy, had driven the seventy miles into town to see how the boy was doing as soon as they'd gotten things back to normal out at the ranch. They were now outside the ICU watching the comatose stranger while they spoke with the doctor, Dr. Jackson.

"Well Mr. Cottern, the young man has lost a lot of blood. We gave him five-hundred stitches in various locations. He's doing ok on the machines so far but there's no way to tell yet when, or if, he'll ever wake up. Do you know who he is?"

Rob answered first. "Well you see, I checked him for ID when I found him but those pants of his don't have no pockets. The only thing I found was this weird umbrella nearby, n the woods."

"Hmm. We'll just have to hope he wakes soon so we can ask him. Why don't you two go on home. I'll call the ranch if anything changes here."

"Yea, I suppose we should. OK Rob, let's swing by Fielder's store to pick up that fence wire I ordered and head home. Ma'll be glad to get that fencin' in, the deer have been eating her cucumbers!" Randy put some motion to his words, waving at the doctor and heading back for the truck.

* * *

Ryoga wasn't lost, exactly. He didn't know where he was but it all seemed sort-of familiar. He could hear wind whipping all around him. It was dark. He was staring into some sort of whirlwind. The wind blew him off of his feet and he felt himself rolling along the ground. There was a flash. He was a little boy, wandering around in the countryside, lost. A kind looking older lady had come out of a nearby house and was asking him something, but he couldn't understand what she was trying to say to him. She had on a kimono, but there was something unusual… He blinked. The older lady was gone. He was running from someone, gripping a still-cooling piece of bread in his hand while he ran, stuffing into his mouth quickly, looking for some place to hide. He blinked. He was in the desert. It was nighttime, and it was cold. He was camped out in a small draw out of the wind. His small campfire sputtered nearby with a teapot bubbling over it. A much newer, much less full version of his pack was sitting against a stone nearby. He blinked. He was in some sort of monestary, lined up with a number of other children, doing repeated katas. He blinked…

* * *

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­It was already dark by the time Ranma made it home-in his girl form. He'd managed to wheedle some hot water from a street-vendor and changed back to his guy-self, but predictably the old lady with the mop bucket had managed to get him AGAIN! WHY IN KAMI'S NAME WOULD SHE BE MOPPING AT NINE O'CLOCK AT NIGHT??

Anyway.

It was dark by the time he-uh, _she _got home. Ranma had been thinking about Ryoga all the way home and was actually a little worried about him. He slipped through the same back-entrance that Ryoga had earlier in the day and began to retrace Ryoga's steps. He'd told the truth when he said P-chan had to be in the tool-shed, I mean, he didn't come out, now, did he? Preoccupied with the kata he'd been working on, Ranma hadn't really thought it through to it's conclusion—that is, why would Ryoga STILL be in the toolshed? He shoulda come out by now.

Slightly alarmed (I mean this IS Ryoga we're talking about here), Ranma slipped through the yard without a sound, retracing Ryoga's steps to the toolshed. After observing for a few minutes to satisfy himself that no one was around, he quietly opened the door. Ranma froze at a small creak, but when there was no motion evident he opened it the rest of the way and looked inside. Just as Akane claimed, Ryoga was nowhere to be found. Looking down, Ranma could see Ryoga's tracks in the dust of the floor overlaid by Akane's.

"Hehe…good thing Kasumi doesn't come out here to clean, or there wouldn't be any sign at all," he said to himself. He followed Ryoga's tracks with his eyes to the back wall, where they just…stopped.

"Hmm..that's odd…"

Looking closer, he could see that, despite the confusion of Akane's tracks, there was definitely no sign that Ryoga ever came out—or turned around, or even stood still! His footprints headed straight for the back wall; there was a left foot-print and then—nothing. Ranma backed out of the shed, warily looking around for anything unusual. He walked around to the backside of the shed. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, he went back into the shed to look again. There wasn't any sign the back wall was broken through. There were no trap doors. He looked carefully; it didn't look like Ryoga had backed out over his own tracks…

"Feh…what am I thinking? Ryoga wouldn't do that anyway. It's too sneaky. What's going on? I think I'll get outa here and go to bed; maybe I'll come up with something in the morning. Hehe…Ryoga's probably fine, I mean, who could take him, besides me, that is?"

Satisfied for the moment, Ranma headed into the house and up to his bedroom. It was already late and the rest of Tendo-ke was already asleep. He slipped into his room and, after kicking his father off of his own blankets, laid down to go to sleep. He didn't see the sign held up momentarily by the Panda laying nearby.

'Disrespectful Boy! Hmph!'

Not that it would have made much difference anyway.

* * *

…Now he was in a dark, wet cave. He didn't know where he was, but again, it all seemed a little familiar. He could hear water dripping somewhere close-by and there was a muted roar that sounded like a waterfall somewhere farther off. Turning a corner, he could see some light seeping through a crack in the ceiling. On the floor before him was an enourmous egg! He blinked. And blinked again. It was incredibly bright! He was in a desert again, but this time during the hot part of the day. The sun glared down upon his tired, gaunt, dried out self. Ryoga trudged on, his mind numb from heat, faithfully dragging his pack behind him. He didn't know how long he could last. He blinked. Again, he found himself in a small village. He was playing with other children in the town square. There was some kind of festival. In the distance he could hear what must have been one of the other kid's mothers calling and they all went in for lunch. He hung behind, but the matronly woman urged him to come in too. They sat down to eat. Ryoga bowed his head momentarily, relieved to not have to go seek food on his own for once. He blinked…

* * *

Rob was curious. It'd been a few days since he'd found the kid and, other than his body healing abnormally fast, there'd been no sign of improvement at all. Cat scans showed brain activity, everything the doctors could point to said he should be awake, but he wasn't. Rob and Steve, his brother, had a fencin' job to do on the same side of the north grazing range that he'd originally found the kid in, so he though he'd take a look in the woods where this all started while they were up there.

"Rob, you're a damn fool if you think you can go on into those woods alone and come back again jest so you can take a gander at a bunch of trees that done got knocked outa the way." Rob had just told Steve he was heading into the woods to take a look around where he'd found the kid. They'd been out there for several hours repairing fences and had just finished.

"Oh, shut up, Steve. You know very well I can protect myself."

"Oh no, nope. Can't be allowed. Simple souls, those infantryman. I know, I know, you think you know it all, but I'm afraid you'll just get lost, wandering forlornly around them woods like a sheep among-ah-wolves, so to speak. Now, if you were a Green Beret, I could see it. I mean, even if you had a Green Beret with you, I could probably see it. But without? Oh, I can see it in the papers now – 'Army veteran lost to wildlife while hiking in the mountains – a sad and unexpected end to a promising career" It'll just be sad." Steve shook his head ruefully. "Of course, I DO know where you might FIND one of those fearsome Green Berets to protect you. Like a babe in the woods, you'd be, but with your Green Beret for company—"

Rob shook his head, laughing. He held up his hands in surrender. "Ok, ok, I give up!" said Rob. "You can come along, already!"

"Finally. I knew you'd see reason. Even a Jarhead has some brains, after all…"

"Alright now, don't push it…" Rob tried to look fiercely at his brother but their contrived attitudes dissolved in laughter as they hopped lightly out of the jeep and headed into the woods through the scar Ryoga's detonation had created. Both of them were carrying weapons, of course; Rob with his H&K and Steve with a combat shotgun of an original design.

They entered the unnatural clearing, stopping to look around. Grass that had been pressed down was starting to spring up after the last couple of days. Rob walked over to the spot where the umbrella had been, but didn't find anything else. Moving on, they headed toward a splintered tree just outside the debris field.

"Rob, I think he came in this way. See how this tree has been blown sideways, but toward the clearing?" asked Steve.

"Sure enough, let's go." Rob replied.

Groaning dramatically at the foolishness of his older brother, Steve took point and began to move slowly through the forest, keeping alert for any signs of hostility.

Though there were no signs of more recent activity, Rob could see claw marks in the dirt and stray bits of grey hair caught on surrounding trees, evidence enough that the wolves had come through here in a hurry. Every so often he'd come across one of the kid's footprints. It wasn't long before they came across the first carcasse. It was hard to tell due to the ravages of nature, but it looked like this one had had it's head exploded! Shortly thereafter, they found another, this one with it's head cut off. Rob was getting more and more puzzled. They'd not found any weapons dropped on the forest floor, like he'd expected. Instead, they were finding impossible wounds created from what seemed to be thin air! A bright bit of color caught Rob's eye. Turning, he noticed a bit of cloth on the ground. Picking it up, he realized it was a bandanna just like the kid had been wearing. Only this one was soaked in blood and covered in gore. Rob dropped it quickly, rubbing his hands on a kerchief of his own to get the putrid remains off.

"What the hell?" he asked in confusion.

"Hey Rob, over here!" Rob could hear the excitement in his brother's voice, so he hurried over to find his brother pointing at a red backpack leaning against against a nearby boulder.

"Ah ha! That's gotta be the kid's-" Rob was cut off by a low growl. He quickly looked around a noticed a wolf, low-down in the brush nearby. He turned his head slightly to catch Steve's eye.

"Steve, grab the bag, we gotta book-they're coming back," he said darkly. He heard a grunt behind him as Steve picked up the pack and they headed back down the trail again, with Steve on point and Rob covering their tail, since both his hands were free. Just as they were leaving the small clearing where they'd found the bag, two wolves sprang from the surrounding woods! Steve let spray with his machine gun at the two of them and was rewarded with yipes and growls as they landed roughly, surprised to be injured. The gunfire sound was familiar to the wolves and they faded off into the brush again. As they retreated, Roc could hear Steve swear as he let off a round to their right. Steve threw the pack over his shoulder again and the two brothers began to jog quickly. They knew that was just a searching attack, to see how strong the prey was. The real attack would happen in about twenty seconds when the rest of the pack could get into position. Fortunately, they were only about a quarter mile into the forest. Occassional blind sprays of the H&K in Rob's hands kept the wolves from launching an all-out attack while following the two brothers but they would jump out one by one and twice the two Cottern's had to stop and stand their ground when they were rushed. Rob worriedly patted his belt to see how much ammo he had left.

"Little bro, we might be in trouble. I've only got a clip-" Rob fired a short burst at a wolf that was about to jump. "-left."

"Now see-" Steve grunted as fired off a quick four rounds of buckshot into the surrounding brush and quickly fed slugs into his auto-shotgun. "-aren't you glad you brought along a smart Green Beret? Here, take the pack and head back, I'll cover the retreat, we're almost to the Jeep."

To the sound of deep blasts from the shotgun and occasional short bursts from the H&K, the two brothers hurriedly backed out of the forest. Once completely clear, they both turned and ran for the Jeep. Once they got there, Steve dropped to one knee and began letting off shot after shot after shot behind them as the large grey predators could be seen loping out of the woods after them.

"Knock it off and get in!" yelled Rob.

"But I was having so much fun," replied Steve sarcastically. He grabbed the edge of the door frame and heaved himself into the passenger side of the already moving Jeep. As the Jeep accelerated along the bumpy trail, Steve looked over at his brother, a barely concealed glint noticeable in his grim expression.

"Shotgun!"

And they roared off, firing a couple parting shots at the wolves who, familiar with the speed of man's contrivances, gave up pursuit and headed back into the forest.


	4. The Plot Thickens

Disclaimer: "What-ow! I don't want to-oh, ok, I guess." Author turns toward you and says, in a deadpan voice, "I don't own Ryoga, or Ranma 1/2 or anything else that belongs to anyone else in this story. Please don't sue me, it's not worth your time. Really."  
"There, are you happy now?"

Now that that's over...

Ryoga: Lost in...Where the heck am I NOW?!  
Chapter4: The Plot Thickens...

* * *

"What a bunch of weird stuff. He's got a couple sets of cloths, some knives of some kind, a bunch of bandannas, chopsticks, a tent, blankets...I guess he must have been out for days. No radio, no gps. Ah! Here's something," said Rob, "looks like an ID of some kind." Steve grabbed it out of Rob's hands to take a look.

"Ree-ogga," read Steve slowly.

"You dope, gimme that. Ree-ogga? What are you thinking? It's RIE-ogga! Don't you see the 'Y'?" Rob was looking at what appeared to be a high school ID they had taken from the pack found in the woods. The ID had a picture of the kid he'd rescued, so there was no doubt it belonged to him. The problem was, no one in the family could speak Japanese.

"Umm..guys? I'm pretty sure it's Ryoga…" muttered Jenny, Rob's younger sister.

"Ryoga? That can't be it, it don't sound right. It's gotta be Ree-ogga. I'll betcha ten bucks." Steve reached over and tousled his kid sister's hair while a smile tugged at his mouth.

"Yea, alright, it's a deal," said Rob, "I say it's Rie-ogga."

"Don't forget me guys, it really has to be Ryoga."

"OK, you're on!"

Jenny walked away, smirking as she mentally began to decide what to do with the easy twenty she'd be getting from her older brothers in a little while. She'd seen a goofy foreign cartoon once with someone named Ryoga – Jenny's face flushed white for a moment, startled…she quickly shook her head in wry amusement at herself. Nah…Couldn't be. In the background she could hear her mother's voice berating her two brothers. Eager to avoid inclusion in that sort of-ah, fun, she scurried around the corner and out the front door to get back to work training her bay mare.

"Robert Herbert Cottern. What kind of manners have I taught you, boy? What are doing digging around in that poor boy's things? It's rude!" Anne Cottern, Queen of the Cottern ranch had spoken.

"But Ma, we was only looking for some ID, and…" Steve's voice kind of dribbled away under his mother's glare.

"That's right, you WERE. Well you've got it. You have no business digging around in the rest of it. When that boy wakes up, you can ask him. Until then, put it right over there in that corner and you keep your grimy paws off of it." Anne could be heard muttering under her breath as she walked away. "We was…we WAS? Muttermuttermutter…"

"Scary…." Said the two thoroughly cowed young men.

* * *

He blinked. Again. Now he was wandering down the road, whistling away. He didn't understand what was happening. He seemed to be jumping from place to place, randomly. Living through different times in his life, revisiting all the many facets of Japan he'd discovered in his travels. He often wondered if he sleepwalked, as it seemed he could be in one place. then a few seeming minutes later somewhere else completely. He blinked. He was in a battle! It was him and Ranma at that boy's school they used to go to, fighting over bread rolls and other pastries. He blinked. He was with a family. They seemed familiar, but he couldn't quite place them…He blinked…

* * *

It was morning.

Ranma could feel himself slowly awakening, the warm rays of the morning sun warming his body through the window of his room. He luxuriated in the feeling…so much of his life was spent in movement-fighting with fiancés, fighting FOR fiancés, fighting AGAINST fiancés, dodging the old lecher, fighting-ok, humiliating Kuno (that part was kinda fun)…it was awfully nice just to lay in the sun for a few minutes before-

"Wake up, boy! How can you sleep on a day like this?!"

Ranma abruptly changed to a girl as his irritating father dumped a 5 gallon bucket of cold water over him to, ostensibly, wake him up. Ranma braced himself for the grab and throw that would send him out the window to the yard for 'training'. It wasn't that he didn't know it was coming, his idiot father used the same move every morning. It was just simpler to let him do it then start the 'training' outside. It was less destructive on the Tendo home. Ranma shook his head in disgust while flying through the air toward the pond. He landed on the rock in the middle and launched the first salvo in the Anything Goes style.

"Oy, Oyaji! Is that the best you can do? I mean, I knew you were getting old and all but that…well, maybe it's time to retire, eh pops?" Ranma's derogatory tone and insolent manner accomplished their mission.

"Fool boy! I guess I need to teach you some manners!" Genma's enraged form leapt from the upstairs window towards Ranma in a flying kick. Ranma smirked as he leapt to meet Genma. Ducking the kick, Ranma tapped his father on the head, re-directing Genma's momentum towards the pond. Ranma landed on the porch on one foot, facing a dripping Panda stepping out of the pond.

"Growf!" cried the panda as it charged Ranma. What followed was a half hour of aerial acrobatics between Ranma and his erstwhile father that ended in predictable fashion.

"Ranma-kun, Genma-san, breakfast is ready," called Kasumi from the door. Ranma quickly knocked Genma-panda back into the pond and headed into the kitchen for the hot water that Kasumi kindly kept on the stove for him. A minute later a larger, more masculine Ranma walked out of the kitchen just as Genma-panda stepped into the house and growfed, holding a sign up that said "Where's the respect?!" A few minutes later all the residents of Tendo-ke were sitting at the table, enjoying the typical five-star repast that Kasumi had prepared.

After breakfast, Ranma excused himself from the table and headed back out to the toolshed again. Unbeknownst to him, Akane, still angry about P-chan, followed.

"What are you doing, Ranma? Come to erase evidence of whatever you did to P-chan?" Taunted Akane.

"Akane, what are you doing here?" asked Ranma.

"Umm...I live here, baka. The question is, what are YOU doing here, at the toolshed?"

Ranma was worried. If he told her the truth he'd have to break his word of honor. He couldn't do that, but he didn't want to lie either...

"Akane, look, I, uh..." Suddenly, inspiration struck!

"Maybe you can help me, Akane. I'm worried about Ryoga," said a suddenly confident Ranma.

"Ryoga?" questioned Akane, "what about him? Does this have anything to do with P-chan?"

Ranma started slightly in surprise, then realized Akane's choice of words were just a coincidence.

"Well yea, sort of, maybe anyway. Yesterday morning I saw Ryoga come in the back gate looking for you. Feh ..he must have gotten lost again. I saw him open the toolshed and walk in like it was the front door of the house. I'm pretty sure that P-chan went in there with him." It wasn't a lie, exactly. "I laughed at him and went back to what I was doing, but after you sent me to Jubaan yesterday I began to wonder and checked out the toolshed. You're right, no-one's in there, but...it doesn't look like anyone came out, either."

* * *

If this was a movie or an anime, this is where you'd hear a carefully selected piece of suspenseful music. Perhaps something from the Phantom of the Opera...you know, violins, horns and such; to set the mood. It wouldn't last long, but you'd feel the emotional tension begin to build at the short intro and then possibly a piece of the chorus would be played loudly for a moment then faded away to sit quietly in the background for half a minute or so while the story action resumed. You'd be prepared for a dramatic moment; an unveiling, perhaps, of a key fact or clue. Somehow, that moment would foreshadow things to come. You'd know something was happening very soon... It would fit, after all...but since this is a written story, well-  
Tough luck. :-)

* * *

"What are you playing me for, Ranma? Is this a joke? Ok, ha ha. Now where's P-chan," demanded an angry Akane.

"I told you, Akane, I don't know. Come look at this with me."

Akane's eyes narrowed in suspicion, but she agreed to play along, for the moment. Ranma led Akane over to the door of the shed and opened it. He brought her inside, scuffing the area inside the door with his feet to hide the fact there were no pig tracks. "Look at this, Akane. Here are your tracks and mine, and here are Ryoga's footprints." Ranma pointed to various smudges and tracks in the dust of the toolshed. Akane nodded her head. "Now look at this. Ryoga walks up to the wall, and..nothing. Here's his left footprint and that's it. He doesn't turn around, he just...disappears." Akane's eyes went wide as she suddenly realized Ranma wasn't messing with her, that he was completely serious.

"Ranma...you're right. What could have happened to him? And come to think of it, I don't see P-chan's tracks here so Ryoga must have picked him up or something." Unseen, Ranma breathed a deep sigh of relief at Akane's leap of logic. He hoped this conversation wouldn't come back to bite him later. He had not, after all, told an untruth. Wherever pig-boy went, P-chan was there. It WAS true…in a sense…

"I don't know, Akane, but I'm going to find out."

* * *

Dum dum dum……

* * *

When evening came, dinner was predictable: Kasumi created a stunning smorgasbord. Ranma and his father fought over bits on each others' plates all night. Nabiki ate like a bird and retired early to arrange tomorrows bets. Akane fumed at Ranma for imagined slights and Tendo was lost in his own dreamworld imagining Akane and Ranma happily married. Ranma had chosen not to bring up Ryoga's mysterious disappearance until he had more information and by some stroke of luck Akane hadn't mentioned it either. After dinner, Akane went upstairs to study for Monday's math test and Ranma headed up to the roof to think. He'd spent the day painstakingly going over all of the Tendo property, looking for evidence of previous disappearances. It had been a while since Ryoga had stopped by, so it didn't surprise him when he didn't find any other tracks anywhere. Failing at finding any physical evidence, maybe he could find something in his memories. The Anything Goes school, in general (that being his father, Soun and Hoppy), wasn't big on meditation, but Ranma had learned from the Master at an old monastery they'd stayed at for a few months when he was younger. He didn't usually go through the whole shebang, just using the relaxation steps to help him think. Tonight however, he really needed to focus to catch any details he might have missed before. He sat in lotus and started the breathing exercises. Pretty soon, all the little night sounds of birds, crickets and the snores of his father drifted away and he found himself focused within. He began to explore memories of encounters with Ryoga. There was the time he chased P-chan out of Akane's room into the furo, where Ryoga transformed into himself and ran off into the linen closet. Akane had woken up and was berating Ranma, so he thought he must have missed Ryoga coming out and running off. There was another time when he was leading Ryoga to his house. They were walking down the main road, side by side. Ranma had gotten distracted by a Takoyaki stand and when he turned around, Ryoga was gone. Then there was the time at Furinken-and the time at the mall-and when he followed Akane and Ryoga on that date- and-

Several hours had passed when Ranma's breathing sped up to normal and his eyes fluttered open, but if someone were to look into his eyes right at that moment, they'd have seen confusion-and worry. Without a word, Ranma sprang from his pretzel-like position and began leaping away from Tendo-ke over the roofs at high speed.

* * *

…Ryoga knew he still must be dreaming. He was in a village filled with dark skinned people who spoke a strange language. There were wild elephants…his thought process derailed for a moment-there were elephants wild in Japan? Where? He blinked. In Nerima, he relived his date with Akane again. Just about the time Ranma showed up in disguise, Ryoga blinked again and found himself in China, at Jusenkyo, looking over the many springs from a nearby hillside. In the distance he caught sight of Ranma and heard himself yelling.

"Ranma! I've finally found you!" He took off at a fast run. He was nearly there when he found himself flying in midair, launched there by an impatient kick from the 'strange girl.' Horrified, he tried to change his trajectory, but, proving this to be some kind of dream or vision, he couldn't alter what had already happened. As he felt his body touch the water, he blinked and the scene changed again. Once again, he was standing in the dark, staring within the whirlwind. He could feel the winds pulling at his body, his feet dragging across the metal floor, just before he slipped…

* * *

"He's awake! Doctor, come quick, it looks like he's waking up!" cried the night nurse. The doctor came at a run while the nurse monitored various equipment, verifying his heart-rate, blood pressure and a myriad of other indicators were functional and in normal ranges. She watched his eyes flutter open then quickly close in pain as the light intruded upon eyes darkened for several days. They slowly opened again and began to move around slowly, taking in the ICU room he was in. The nurse could see a look of puzzlement when the young man slowly and painfully turned his head toward her.

"Ano…ittaizentai? D-dochirasama? Nande-dokodes?" Ryoga sounded very confused.

The nurse heard the boy's halting speech but couldn't understand what he was saying. She looked over at the night doctor.

"Doctor, can you understand what he's saying?"

"No, maybe it's Japanese? We'll simply try to comfort him tonight and find someone who can translate in the morning I suppose, we've never had anything like this happen here before." The doctor came over to the bed and smiled down at the confused young man.

"I'm sorry about this, son, we don't understand what you're saying. I'm Doctor Jones and this is Pam, your night nurse." Doc Jones pointed to himself and Pam as he did introductions. "What is your name?" he asked. When he didn't get a response, he pointed at himself and said Dr. Jones, then pointed at the nurse and said Pam, then pointed his finger at the young man and looked inquisitively at him.

Ryoga could sort of understand what they were saying. His brain felt-fuzzy, like it was stuffed full of gauze. He could tell that they wanted to know his name so he croaked out "Ryoga…H-Hibiki" and his head fell back onto the pillow, the effort of moving and speaking having worn him out already. The nurse and doctor quickly looked to the monitors, but his vital signs didn't show him slipping back into a coma, he was just tired and had fallen asleep. Quietly, they checked his saline drip then turned the lights out and left the room.

"I'll call the high school in the morning, maybe they've got a Japanese language class or something. Why don't you ask around the staff in the morning if there's anyone here who can speak to him." The nurse nodded, accepting the doctors suggestion then went off to check on her next patient.

"Huh...Japanese. In the mountains of Idaho. Where did this boy come from?" The doctor headed off to his office to take care of some paperwork, puzzling over the mystery in room 13.

* * *

It had been a late night at the Cat Café. They'd had a party of businessmen from Tokyo reserve the entire restaurant. Shampoo had served noodles and drinks to the men until late. They were celebrating the launch of a new business venture, and money flowed freely, so Cologne was happy to close the doors to the public and allow the private party to stay much later than the café's normal hours. By the time Shampoo and Moose were done cleaning the place and she had taken stock and planned tomorrow's order to replace the food and drink used up during the party, it was well past 2 AM. Shampoo and Moose had nearly fallen asleep standing by the time they were done, and were now asleep in their rooms. Cologne was still up studying an old tome when she heard the smallest of noises. For a moment, she looked up and considered sending one of the children to check it out. The local thieves had learned their lessons many times over already so she was sure it wasn't one of them. Since Shampoo and Moose had both only just gone to bed and would have to wake up in just a few hours, she decided to find out for herself what it was. Quietly, Cologne crept down the short hall to the head of the stairs. From the stairs, she had a clear view of the kitchen and could see nothing of interest. She closed her eyes, carefully sensing the area around her for anything unusual, then a smile flitted across her face before resuming it's usual sour expression.

"Son-in-law, it's a bit late to be visiting Shampoo, is it not?" she asked.

Ranma turned quickly from the window he was closing softly, startled.

"Hey, Cologne, just who I was looking for," said Ranma.

"Why, Son-in-law, I'm flattered," Cologne cackled quietly, "but I'm sure you'd prefer a much younger, much more-ah-fuller woman." She couldn't resist the chance to tease her future son-in-law.

"Hey! It's not like that, ah…" stuttered a suddenly embarrassed Ranma.

"Oh I know that," chuckled the old ghoul with a smile. The she hit him on the head with her stick and her usual sour expression fell back in place. "Now tell me, Son-in-law, what brings you to sneak into our home at such a time? What is so important that you must rush over here at 3AM? And why come through the window?"

"3A-?!" exclaimed Ranma. "What the-? I only was meditating for a few minutes-at least it seemed like a few minutes-" Ranma was shocked at the time, it was like he was missing several hours. Since he didn't meditate very often, he'd forgotten that deep meditation could do that to a person. "I didn't want to run into Sha-uh, wake up the whole house. I just needed to talk to you."

"It's alright, son-in-law, keep your voice down and let the others sleep. Now tell me, what brings you here? You look concerned about something."

"Uh, yea, well, it's about Ryoga. Something's happened to him. I don't know what, but, it's like he just disappeared."

"Son-in-law, is this not normal for the lost boy?"

"Yea, I mean, no, well, not like this. It's like he was there then -poof- he was gone."

"Have you observed this personally?" asked the old Amazon.

"Well, sort of. Today, Akane accused me of…." Ranma began to relate the whole story to her, of Akane thinking he'd hidden P-chan, of him watching Ryoga go into the shed, how he later found the footprints end at the wall and what he'd found when meditating. "..so when I couldn't find any other evidence, I decided to meditate to see if I could find any clues in my memories of previoud incidents. As I began to remember, I came across time after time where I'd look away or something and when I turned back, Ryoga was gone. I've always attributed it to his legendary lack of direction, but now I'm not so sure."

"Ok, son-in-law, stop by here after school tomorrow and I'll come with you to check out this shed. Perhaps I can find something you missed. This is a very unusual problem that could be caused by many things, some innocent, some quite a bit more…sinister. Good night, son-in-law."

"Thanks, Cologne, good night."

Ranma left, using the front door this time, and headed over the roofs for home.

"Ryoga," mumbled Cologne to herself, "what have you gotten yourself into?"

_Author's Note: I don't speak Japanese and used an online translation program to get the little bit Ryoga says in the hospital. If any of you can do better, I'm all ears..._


End file.
